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The Montauk Superman

Part 6 <-- | -->

The hypnotheripest finally pulls me out of it, and two days later the hypnotheripest has disappeared and Aaron had locked the "monster" (it is no monster, it is my true "self") away again, with new doors and in a new place. The monster who claims to be the real me is even now locked away somewhere in my mind? This concept is very scary and confusing but these are my memories.

August 1994 - June 1996

After that I didn't remember any of those events or any other events for that matter until years later when a single event "punched" a hole in the "alternate reality", the "alternate personality" if you will, and Aaron continued to be my "best friend" as he was my assigned "controller" or "handler". Over the next two years or so I would go over to Aaron's apartment, hang out all the time, and we were buddies. The thing is, odd things would happen sometimes but I would just dismiss them Because I had no recollection of ANY of the past events. For example, sometimes Aaron would just get up and lock the door. Right in the middle of a movie or something. It's only the two of us and I am about 6 foot tall and 230 pounds with bodybuilder physiques and Aaron is about 5'-10" and about 210 pounds with a very muscular build, and he is living in a very quiet and secure apartment complex. So I began to wonder about these events and I would ask him "why do you sometimes get up and lock the door" and he would never answer me, and I would never question it.

I remember a lot of missing time at Aaron's, watching a movie and all of a sudden I would be watching a different movie and it is 2:00 in the morning. All of a sudden I would realize what time it was and I would say "Where the f*ck did the time go" and I would just get up and leave. But thinking back I can vaguely remember all the programming sessions he would have. He would keep trying to totally destroy the "Monster" if you will, but he never could. I can remember countless episodes of Mr. Green being there, as well as others, studding me, trying to figure me out. But at the time some things you really don't think about until later.

What was happening was they were watching all the time. I had no memories about anything up to that point. My apartment was wired for sound and video. Every moment of my life was being watched. One odd thing about my life is, ALL of my girlfriends, at least all the women I would consider calling my girlfriend, have said the same thing to me at one point in time or another. They all told me that my apartment was almost like a "hotel" room. I guess that when women first start dating someone they like to get to know the person by looking at all their "stuff." I had some of the nicest "stuff" money could buy in terms of furniture and electronics (a very nice furnished apartment). The thing is there is no "memorabilia" at all, and thinking about it, they are right! I have no photos at all! None of my parents, none of my family, none of ANY college friends, NOTHING! No scrap books, no photo albums, no souvenirs, no books at all, nothing personal of any kind. I have a fully furnished apartment which is nicely decorated, but there is no personal memorabilia of any kind. No memories and no past. (leave it to the women to notice this)

Another funny thing is, Aaron took a job as a student counselor at Life Chiropractic college in Atlanta. His favorite pastime was to steal all of the college's video tapes which dealt with the human mind and relating subjects from the Life college library. He must have had 20 different "sets" of tapes. These ranged from documentaries to case studies of all the different mental diseases and theories of how the human mind functions and what exactly occurs in each of them. In fact, the more I think about it, ALL we used to do is sit around and discuss how the human mind functions. He would say the "Magic word" and I would sit there in my altered state of reality and he would tell me his view of the mind. How the human mind functions just like a basic computer. With every decision either being "yes" or "no" answer, like a switch which is either "on" or "off", and would discuss how every memory, function, and action we had or did is basically a string of yes or no responses. "Like a long combination lock you must have the exact code to get 'In' he said. We would watch video after video. Then I would tell him how I thought the human worked and functions. We would spend hours upon hours discussing this.

Over the years the two of us would sit and he talk about "How to mind f*ck" someone. The basic concept is to build a "Platform over your real consciousness, and that then becomes your real consciousness." And all along this was already been done to me and I had no clue about any of it. Which in itself is a very scary concept. A fake reality if you will. Sort of like Windows 95. Windows 95 is basically a "platform" built over the DOS program to make the PC applications more "User friendly", where all the computations, and all the "essence" of the program is written in code using DOS, but all you see on the screen is Windows 95 (like a platform built over the essence of the computer). It's kind of funny, in a very sick sort of way. Here we I am sitting around discussing how to mind f*ck somebody, for years, with my best friend. When all along, I've already been "mind f*cked" by him for years, and don't have a clue about any of it. He discusses it with me just like it's normal conversation! Now that's a real "mind f*ck" if you think about it!

What was happening was all during my time in Atlanta they were using me for all sorts of different experiments at the Dobbins Air Force Base in Atlanta where a "major" project had become active. I was also used in the Montauk chair for the time travel experiments at this time.

July 1996

My girlfriend, Pilar, is going to declare chapter 7 due to her debt load from past bills. I had lent her some money, and she wanted to pay me back by paying for my car repairs at the local Toyota dealership. I needed a new muffler, power radio antenna, timing belt, and tune up. About $1,200.00 worth of work which she was going to charge on her credit card before she had to cut them up because of the chapter 7. The dealership tells me it's going to take only one day and I'll be able to pick it up in the morning. They give me a rental car to drive around.

The next day I go back to pick it up and it's not ready. I go back the third day and it's still not ready. I call on the forth day (Saturday), and they tell me it won't be ready until Monday. "Look", I said, "I used to be in the car business and I know that your service department can crank out between 75 and 200 cars a day, why the f*ck is mine taking a week when you told me it would only take one day?" And he says "we had to order parts and it will be ready Monday!" And rudely hangs the phone up on me. Monday comes and I go to pick up the car. I get the bill and it's gone from $1,200.00 to $1,750.00. I'm furious, mainly because I didn't know if the credit card was going to go through at $1,700.00+, and I would really be stuck. And let me tell you I get in the guys face and start freaking out, "You have the balls to keep my car for a whole week and then bill me $600.00 over the estimate, where is the manager etc..etc.." He replies "we had to order some parts" "What parts" I say. He gets the paper work, looks through it and says "we had to special order your radio antenna" I say "special order the radio antenna, IT'S A F*CKING '92 TOYOTA CAMRY! Your telling me that not one store in Atlanta had a power antenna for a Toyota Camry for a whole week! The entire city is sold out, that's BULL SHIT!" He then gets is my face and says to me "I know who you are, and we don't want your kind here. I'll take $100.00 off the bill, but don't come back because we don't want your business or your "dirty" money here!"

"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I answer. "We had a visit from some of your "friends" and they told us all about you, you piece of Shit drug dealer". "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I say again. "I spit on guys like you, dealing drugs to kids, I should kick your ass right here and now. Don't worry you'll get yours someday, sooner than you think." He says. I said "look I have no idea what you are even talking about!? He says "pay it, and get the F*CK out of here and don't come back."

I pay the $1,650.00, the credit card goes through. Pilar says "what the hell is he talking about?" I said "I wish I knew". We leave, she drives her car back to work, and I ride around for a while. I'm still pissed off. This is too freaking weird! About an hour into my "ride", I have an idea! I drive back to the dealership and pull into the "Pep Boys" auto parts store located next door to the Toyota dealership I had my car serviced at. I go in and ask the guy at the counter, who also happens to be the manager, if they do any business with the Toyota dealership next door. He says "are you kidding me, they are our largest account". "Oh"! I say. "I'm looking for a power antenna for my car" I say. He asks "what year, and what make?" "'92 Toyota Camry" I tell him. He punches it up on the computer. "Yes" he says and starts back to go get it. "Sir can you tell me how many you have in stock" I ask. He looks at the screen "53" he answers, "why" he asks. "I was just curious because I was in two days ago and the clerk told me you were out of them." "That's impossible" he says. "You see this little "*" next to the part number, it tells me that on this particular part we sell so many of them that, if we ever go below a dozen in stock the computer in the warehouse automatically ships us more and we would get them the next day." "Thank you" I say, and leave.

Someone, (the Illuminati, the Nazi party, and United States government are the people responsible for all of this as well as the torture at the University of Rochester, as well as the assassinations) told the Roswell Toyota dealership of Atlanta Georgia that I was a drug dealer, so they could keep my car an extra 6 days to special order me a new radio antenna???????? This one blew my mind for a long time because I still had no idea what the hell was going on!

February 1997

Aaron informs me that he is going to have to leave Atlanta for at least a year and that all he can tell me is that it's "family related." He says it won't happen until late May or early June. I'm very sad to hear that my friend is going away. He not only is my best friend but he is also very involved in my business and everything that I do. We try and work out something to where he can still be involved and run things from his father's house in Rochester. I knew it wouldn't work, he was quite insistent that it would. He keeps reassuring me not to worry because he WILL be back in a year. All along I am asking him "What's going on?" Finally, with me swearing under strictest confidence that I won't tell anyone, Aaron proceeds to tell me that what has happened is this; His father used to work for a very large corporation in Rochester, and years ago he gave his father the idea that he could sue this company for "mental anguish" or that the stress of his job caused him to somehow "snap" causing him to be mentally insane, and now he is suing them. Aaron then tells me that what HE did, was to instruct his father exactly how to answer all of the physiological tests and questions that they were going to ask him, and basically showed him how to scam thousands of dollars out of the company in the lawsuit. Three years later, Aaron's father won, and was awarded several hundreds of thousands of dollars. But what happened was, the Judge ruled that Aaron's father was to receive the settlement, however since he was "mentally not all there" he was not going to give control of the money to him as it had to last him for the rest of his life as he was no longer able to work. So the judge was going to set up some kind of "trust" account where someone other than Aaron's father must act as the executor of the account and therefore be the one who actually distributes the funds since he was "mentally incapable".

So, since Aaron's parents are divorced, and no one else in the family knew that the whole lawsuit was all a lie, Aaron had to go home to act as the executor for his father. And it had to be for at least a year because the money was supposed to last his father for the rest of his life since he is no longer able to work.

So they couldn't just pull it all out at once because the insurance company for sure would be watching them. My girlfriend, Pilar, kept wanting Aaron to hypnotize her to see if he could clear up some of the past trauma she had experienced with her x-husbands. He always talked about how he could hypnotize people without them even knowing it, and she wanted him to do it to her, but ONLY if I was there. She didn't trust him enough to do it on her own. For some reason he wouldn't do it. He would say "I don't think that's a good idea" and would always put it off. But yet I remember going to Aaron's one night with Pilar, and it was one of those "missing time" nights where I remember just staring off onto space for a while. The next night I go over again, this time by my self.

Aaron says something very strange to me. He says "man, you have nothing to worry about with Pilar, she absolutely idolizes you", 'trust me' on this." How the hell would he know? I ask myself later. Months later, when I put it all together, I think he did it to see if I had told Pilar about his father, good thing I didn't.

One Friday night I'm at home and Pilar is coming over later to watch some movies. I'm feeling very up tight about my business and how it's not going as well as anticipated. All along and for as long as I could remember I always felt like some thing wasn't right with me. Like some thing was "wrong" but I just had no idea what it was or where this feeling was coming from. ALL OF A SUDDEN I REMEMBERED THAT I KNOW SILVA MIND CONTROL! I had totally forgotten about it. Like out of the blue it was like a revelation. I guess I just hadn't thought about it for years. So I relax, and go to my level. I'm having a great session, feeling totally relaxed and comfortable. I open my eyes and Pilar is sitting on the floor next to me with this look on her face like she is seeing the devil possessing someone. I ask her how long she has been there? She says to me "What the hell were you doing?" And I tell her all about the Silva method and about going to different "Levels" of your mind. She says to me "you never told me you could do that!". "I FORGOT I COULD" I say. I asked her if I looked funny, and she tells me that she almost freaked out when she saw me. "Why?" I asked her. "Your eye balls were flurrying left and right at a million miles an hour. I thought you were possessed or something. Then I called your name and you wouldn't answer. So I sat down and watched." "How long were you watching me" I ask. About 15 minutes she answers. What does she say next? "TEACH ME". So she downs three glasses of wine and we spend the rest of the night doing Silva mind control.

What happened, however, is that the next time we went to Aaron's apartment, Pilar, wanting to be involved in some of the intellectual conversations Aaron and I had, starts talking about how I taught her the Silva method and how she went down to the different levels of her mind and the whole thing. The next day I go over to Aaron's to watch movies, I remember him getting up and locking the door. AFTER THAT DAY, AND TO THIS DAY I CANNOT GO TO MY LEVEL. IN MY MIND, I JUST CANNOT PICTURE AN ELEVATOR SHAFT IN MY MIND. I TRY AND I TRY BUT I JUST CANNOT DO IT FOR SOME REASON. I guess Aaron didn't like the idea of me romping around in my own mind and somehow "rigged it" so that I cannot enter. It's sort of like being locked out of your own mind. Very scary!

March 1997

WHAT WAS THE "EVENT" THAT TRIGGERED THE RECALL OF MY MEMORY? HERE IT IS. Aaron is a 5'-10" muscular, balding Italian man, who, if he could, would spend his entire life walking around in his "flip flops" with a short sleeve shirt unbuttoned down to his belly button and in a baggy pair of shorts hanging out at the pool all day everyday. We would still do things like go to concerts, the home depot, occasionally a movie. Things like that but nothing that ever required too much planning or usually too much physical effort (except working out). One rainy march evening I get to Aaron's, and he has a sudden burst of energy and decides that he wants to go BOWLING. "Bowling" I say. As it turns out, Aaron is an avid bowler. He even has his own ball (which he stole form a bowling ally in Rochester NY). No bag, just the ball. He says he hasn't been in a long time and he somehow got a "wild hair stuck in his ass". This was a big venture for him because Aaron actually had to go into his closet and dig out his sneakers and a pair of jeans to go to the bowling ally.

We go, we walk in and get our lane and our shoes from the front desk. We turn to the left and start walking to our lane. As we walk, the lanes are on the right and the pro shop and bar is on the our left. Aaron is ahead of me, about 3 steps (the fastest I have ever seen him walk, I guess he was excited to be bowling or something). As we walk we pass the door to the pro shop there is a life size cutout of a man in a rhinoceros suite. He is standing there holding a bowling ball (it was a very elaborate life size 3-dimential marketing display with a real bowling ball in the guy's hands). The display said something like "Bowl with the best, Bowl with what the professionals use, Bowl with 'RHINO BALLS'."

And as I walk by I start laughing. "BOWL WITH RHINO BALLS" I yell ahead of me. AND THEN IT JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I SAID IT "THEY USED TO CALL ME 'THE RHINO' ONCE!" and Aaron drops his bowling ball and IMMEDIATELY AND I MEAN IMMEDIATELY turns around, walks back and gets right in my face and says "WHEN DID THEY CALL YOU 'THE RHINOî', WHEN DID THEY CALL YOU 'THE RHINO'! WHAT GOT ME WAS HE SAID IT TWICE. I was caught off guard by his actions and I blurted out "In high school" I said. They used to call me "the rhino" in high school, it was my football nickname. I will never forget the look in his eye as he was examining me, studying me. The thing is I LIED, they NEVER called me "the Rhino" in high school. "The Rhino" was actually a friend of mines "nickname" and he was on another team. My "nick name" in high school was "B A" for "Bad Ass".

The moment after I said "They used to call me the Rhino." What "popped" into my mind was not some high school football game. What "popped" into my mind was ME, STANDING ON A ROOF TOP, LOOKING DOWN, AND YELLING AT THE MAN WITH THE WHITE HAIR "BECAUSE I'M WEARING MY Nike's", AND THEN I WATCH AS HE TRIED TO CLIMB THE WALL THE WAY I JUST DID. HE COMES REAL CLOSE (COMES UP 3-4 FEET SHORT) AND SLIDES BACK DOWN. AND AS HE SLIDES BACK DOWN, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT HIS FACE, RIGHT IN HIS EYES. AND HE IS LOOKING RIGHT INTO MINE. AND I REMEMBERED THE GIRL THEY HAD JUST KILLED WHEN THEY RAN HER OVER. But that was it. Each of those memories were about 5 seconds long and somehow I knew there was more but I just couldn't put my finger on it. But I had punched a hole in their "alternate reality" and some memories had dripped through.

THAT'S WHAT BROUGHT IT BACK! A PROFESSIONAL BOWLING BALL. WHO'S BRAND NAME IS "RHINO", THE "RHINO BALL", THAT WAS THE EVENT WHICH TRIGGERED MY MEMORY. THAT'S WHAT I REMEMBERED, THE MAN WITH THE WHITE HAIR, JUST AFTER THEY RAN OVER THE GIRL.

I lied to Aaron not out of fear. It just flew out of my mouth. I didn't even think about it. I just told the story about it being a high school "nick name". As we began to bowl, I could tell Aaron was not himself, nervous, anxious, and he asked me about "the Rhino" again and again. "Are you sure that's when they called you "the Rhino?" He asks.

As I'm about to bowl I turn to him and say "Pretty f*cken sure asshole! Watch this," and I pictured myself throwing a strike, I start on my approach and I whizzed that ball down the lane and I threw a strike. I had just taken a crash course in acting. Because I lied again. At that point what was going through my mind was the girl, the man with the wooden blocks, the trial, Brian talking to Mr. Green, the lab. And as I'm bowling all these things are rushing into my mind. "Put it out of your mind" I say to my self. "Think about it later" and I played it down. I got away with it because I hadn't made the "Aaron connection" yet so I wasn't in the least bit nervous. I honestly just wasn't going to tell my best friend, out of the blue, that the Rhino was the term they used to call me when I was back in college and involved with the government, and mind control experiments, and how I was a unstoppable super assassin who possessed superhuman abilities! That would fly over like a lead balloon. So I kept it to my self.

We bowled several games and consequently drank several pitchers of beer. As we left and drove back to Aaron's he asked me to come in, several times. I said "nah man, I'm beat, I'll call you in the morning." He pushed it to the point to where I said something about it. "What's wrong with you man? I'll call you in the f*cking morning." And I managed to play it down again because I wasn't afraid of Aaron. That night, I didn't literally sleep at all (and I really haven't slept a single night since and it's been over a year). As I sat on my couch and thought about the "Rhino ball" I remembered being on the roof again. Then I remembered the girl. I then back tracked to the parking lot, running up the stairs, the girl, the roof, the jump. Going back that night and seeing the men in yellow, going back in the morning. Brian and the steroids. Him and Gwen, the lab, everything! But the memories are all like a 5 second flash of a 10 minute movie all with no sense of time order. Clear but then suddenly stops and it's all very confusing.

I'm even so clueless and lost in confusion that I ask Aaron "Aaron, did you ever have any Army men over your apartment?" He of course wants me to immediately come over. I go, we hang out, I watch some TV, I come home and go to bed. As a mater of fact "I have a very pleasant evening." In the morning, as I sit on the couch on the coffee table there is a legal pad with all kinds of stuff written on it in my hand writing. The Rhino, Rochester, 90 degree vertical climbs, DID AARON LOCK THE DOOR??? WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU DO AT AARON'S? CAN YOU REMEMBER? At that moment is when it all came together, but still it was only as clear as a dream, only it was a bad dream and I was awake.

I start thinking about college, and the thing is I couldn't remember college, I didn't remember most of my life now that I thought about it. I remember being at the University of Rochester, but the more I thought about it, I couldn't remember anything specific. I don't sleep at all now, and more strange things start happening.

The next night it is 3:30 in the morning and I'm up thinking about all this. I see head lights illuminating some of the parked cars in the parking lot, but after they were on for about five minutes. So I go out onto my porch to see what is going on. There is a full size puck up truck parked in front of the Bell South phone box which is the main board for the whole complex (a big gray thing about 4 feet high and 5 feet wide). A man has the box OPEN and is doing something while the pick up truck is left running. What exactly he is doing I have no idea, but the whole thing is making me extremely paranoid. I think to my self "for God's sake Aaron has the key to my apartment." So for the next three months I would lay my golf clubs between the front door and the closet door to act as a "wedge" so if anyone tried to get in while I was sleeping the front door would only open about three inches.

The next day I decide to call my father from a pay phone. And let me tell you NOTHING is ever really real, until you tell your parents. I gather my courage and I call my father. I ask him "Dad, Do you remember going to Annapolis?", and he answers "Only when I'm awake! Why?" "Because I don't remember college I answer. "I have memories of attending the University of Rochester, but I don't remember being there!" I then proceed to tell him the whole story about the mind control experiments, the girl who was run over, the lab, everything but it's all in bits and pieces. I said "either I have just gone totally insane or my entire life since the 6th grade has all been a lie. Either way I need to get some serious physiological help!" He has become quite serious now and says "I'm extremely glad that YOU said that!"

Through a friend of a friend I get the name of a good psychologist, he subsequently works with a psychiatrist, as it turns out I start seeing both of them.

Aaron is aware that I am seeing a psychologist, he is very interested in what medication the doctor has given me and what is going on. I tell him that I am going for therapy for the government mind control thoughts going on in my head. He follows very carefully what's going on and is satisfied with the fact that the doctors think that I am either "crazy" or "chemically imbalanced" and they don't believe me.

For the next several weeks I remember going over to Aaron's apartment and there was a lot of missing time. What I would do was leave notes to my self. One on the car seat, and one on my bed. Both saying the same thing: Did Aaron lock the door? REMEMBER Rochester, the lab experiments, Aaron is controlling you REMEMBER!!! And I would sign it to my self. As I would get into my car after going over to Aaron's to watch movies I would find this note in my own handwriting on the seat and I would read it and I became even more confused.

But from somewhere inside me I would somehow never let go of the few memories that had broken through and every time that I would read the note it would somehow bring it back.

After a while Aaron found out about the note I was leaving to my self in the car because he kept on asking me (when he had me in the trance and I was under his control) how the hell I keep getting out. And I would be forced to tell him. The thing is, I would only tell him what he asked me. So since he never asked about the "other" note I was leaving to my self on my bed I never told him. And this game went on for weeks. After every night I would come home and try and piece it back together again. As the weeks went by I finally put the Aaron connection together, but I had to play along like there was nothing wrong. But what happened was that Aaron eventually found out that I knew in my real and daily life what he was doing to me. He tried to keep plugging the holes in the dam (if you will) but my subconscious would not be stopped, it was fighting to come out and there was nothing that he could do about it. We had a falling out and didn't speak to each other from that moment on. I believe that Aaron knew that I knew that he knew that I knew and we simply stopped talking to each other for the final six weeks that he was in Atlanta. Mostly because he feared for his life that he could no longer control the memories that were coming back to me.

May 1997

Aaron finally leaves to go to help his father, and never said good by, he just left. Which only reinforces my suspicions.

July 1997

After about 18 weeks, thousands of dollars, and two different "sets" of psychologists, and psychiatrists. The third psychologist I go to, who was referred from the second one after he said "I have no idea how to help you or what to do with you!" because I was not "chemically imbalanced" and in spite of all of the drugs and attempts to simply make these "memories" simply go away he referred me to another doctor, and he was vice a president of the psychology department at Emory University hospital in Atlanta. The third guy finally had a good idea. He says to me with a very egotistical demeanor "If you believe that your problem can all be solved using hypnosis why are you here in my office?" I laughed and thought about it and said "you know, your GOD D*MN RIGHT!" I got up and walked out of his office.

All along, my parents, especially my mother are very very concerned for my well being. My mother especially seems to want to know EXACTLY who I am seeing, and EXACTLY what medications they are prescribing to me. And of course I tell her as she is threatening to come down and stay at my apartment until I get through this.

August 1997

On the second, I had made arrangements to go and see a hypnotheripest. For the initial appointment I had inquired as to if he had ever heard of the Silva mind control method, and he responded that he did and "was even aware of the technique and was fluent in it's applications." I specifically did not mention anything about the government or the experiments. When I went in with Pilar, all I told him was that for some reason, that I, no matter how hard I tried, could not go down to my level using the Silva method. I didn't know why but I thought it was just because I was under a lot of pressure at work or something. He tries to put me under and I keep for some reason coming out of it. He said "this is like trying to keep a rubber duck at the bottom of a tub of water when all it wants to do is keep popping back up to the surface." He then gave me his professional opinion. This is what he said "the mind is a funny thing, and we are not even close to begin to under stand it. Of all the functions in the mind, 95% of what occurs, occurs in the unconscious, and only 5% of the mind functions in the conscious. There is DEFINETLY something blocking you in some way. What's happening is this, your unconscious is what really controls your mind. I suspect that something happened in your past, something that is so agonizingly painful your unconscious JUST WILL NOT let it come to the surface. Like a "clenched fist" it will not let it go. At that point I knew that he knew I was lying about why I really came to see him. He was a nice guy and I liked him, but I had already made my plans to move back home, so I didn't want to get started with a new "therapist" and then have to start all over again when I moved, so I never went back to see him. He didn't even charge me for the session.

August 18th

My roommate from college and one of my best friends is getting married in Oswego NY. I flew into Newark NJ and drove up to upstate New York. Oswego is located about 50 miles or so North of Syracuse, with all this going on in my head I didn't make a plane reservation until the week before. The airlines wanted $1,200.00 to fly into Syracuse directly so I flew from Atlanta to Newark for $199.00 and borrowed my mother's car and drove up. It was good to see my friends and we had a great time. On my way home, since I was already up there I got on the New York State thruway and went to Rochester as opposed to coming directly home, more specifically the University of Rochester. I was only going to one place and one place only. The building where I scaled the wall and the girl was killed. The building where I remember seeing men in yellow suits working at 3:00 in the morning "fixing" everything. The building where I went back in the morning and found the crack in the block, and where the railing had been replaced with a "new" one but the cement was a different color.

I get there and let me tell you my heart was pounding. I go to the building and look at the bottom block where the car had hit the building. AND LET ME TELL YOU, THE CRACK IN THE BLOCK IS STILL THERE, AND THE ONE RAILING IS STILL BEING HELD IN PLACE BY DIFFFERENT COLOR CEMENT JUST AS I REMEMBERED IT!

October 30th 1997

I move back home and start to look for people with similar experiences or who I think can really "help me". I arrive in the afternoon (as I had drove through the night), we unloaded the truck and I went to sleep. The next day my Mothers friend Astrid follows me over to the local u-haul facility, asks me how I feel, and I told her that I feel fine but thanks for asking.

Over the next month I am trying to piece together the fragments of my memory. I got to the High school and start to ask questions. The coaches all of course remembered me but the strange thing is when I asked them about the steroid trial they all said the EXACT same answer. They all seemed to get this glazed look in their eyes and they all said word for word "I remember something about that, but I just can't put my finger on it!" All the people who I know were there all seemed to get the same funny look in their eyes. I try and talk to my mother about what I am remembering and the thing is everything and anything that I would say her response would be "ANDY, THAT NEVER HAPPENED". Even simple things like when I got into trouble as a kid when my parents were going through their divorce, where I went to school in Germany, the fights my parents used to get into when they going through their divorce. "ANDY, THAT NEVER HAPPENED". So I began to cross check events with my father and the rest of my family and they remembered most of the events as I did. This did not make ANY sense. So I stopped discussing it with my mother, and secluded my self in the basement of her house.

I went to see Father Jack and asked him about the steroid trial and his response to me was "Andy, that never happened. We would never allow that to happen. I strongly suggest that you don't say another word to ANYONE about ANY of this and I strongly suggest that you forget that you even think that it happened." This really pissed me off, because I know that I am not crazy but what the hell is going on around here. So I tell Father Jack that I am going to call Dr. Purrizzo and ask him about and of course Father Jack tries his absolute best to convince me not to talk to ANYONE.

So if course I call Dr. Purrizzo and get his service at his office as he is on vacation in California. So I tell his nurse that I want to leave a message for Mrs. Purrizzo (as she was the one who was caring out her sexual fantasies on me with her friend back when I was in High School, and was the one who would come up to visit me at Rochester and try and get me to sleep with her) and if anyone would remember it would be her.

The next day Mrs. Purrizzo calls me and I just ask her if she remembers me and if she remembers going to Rochester at all. She informs me that her memory (conveniently) has gone since she has had Alzhiemers disease. But she remembers me from when she went to see her son play football against the University of Rochester but that was it. This was impossible since I wasn't playing football when her son (who was playing for Carginee Melon) played the University of Rochester. The next day I get a call from Dr. Purrizzo who is calling me from California while on his vacation. And he says to me "This better be good" and I started to ask him in a very nice and gentile tone about the steroid trial and he starts to laugh at me calling me insane and that I need to have my self checked into a mental clinic. So I ask him about when I worked at the Ho-Ho-Kus Inn for him parking cars and how he hypnotized me and put me on the table to try and find out if I was sleeping his wife and to get revenge for ruining him at the steroid trial. He stated laughing at me again (and I could hear Mrs. Purrizzo and a few other people laughing in the background) and he tells me that I NEVER worked at the Ho-HO-Kus Inn.

So I ask to speak to Mrs. Purrizzo and he tells me that haven't I put her through enough and since she has alzheimers disease she has no memory, and that for god's sake go and get some medication as I am a danger to society and hangs the phone up on me.

I am now very confused, within two hours Dr. Purrizzo's oldest son (whom I have never met never even knew existed until now) calls me out of the blue to reassure me that there never was a steroid trial and that he has a list of psychologist who would be more then glad to help me. I tell him in a very calm voice that I was just having these strange memories and I was wondering if his father could help clarify them for me. Oh yea, I tell him, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, HOW LONG HAS SHE HAD ALSTIMERZSE DISEASE? He started to laugh and then he said "My mother doesn't have alzheimers disease!" "Really" I say, well thank you very much and have a nice day. Within one hour the Ramsey Police have called my house and spoken to my mother stating that they got a call from Dr. Purrizzo, and that he recommends that I be sent to a mental institute immediately and put on heavy medication for the safety of the community! My Mother reassures the Police that I am no threat to anyone but I am just having a tough time right now.

This only confirms everything to me that some thing is going on and I am not crazy. So I call a bluff and call Father Jack at home and leave on his answering machine something like "I have a copy of the steroid trial you lying sack of shit and you are on it as clear as day, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD LAWYER" and I hang up. The next day Father Jack calls my house and speaks to my mother. I had told my mother what I was doing and just for my sake could you "Please" just play along. Of course when She answers the phone Father Jack informs her that he has contacted his lawyer and wants to know what she knows about this "trial" and where is the tape? What does my mother say?, nothing other then "there really is no tape. Andy just isn't feeling well, he is just 'off his rocker'". Father Jack then tells my mother that he doesn't like being threatened and that if I don't shut up he is going to have the Police come me lock me away (this is the local priest who interacts with all the children).

My mother is of course now frantic and I basically locked my self away in the basement for the next month and didn't say a word to anyone especially my mother about anymore of this, as she has already betrayed me once. But think about it? If there never was any steroid trial, and the whole thing is a figment of my imagination and it all never happened, then why would a priest (if he is so innocent) contact his lawyer if there really could be no possibility of there ever being a tape to begin with. I knew that I was right but the whole world is against me for some reason and I had to find out what the hell is going on. So I laid low for a while and tried to piece together the scrape of memories which I had as there was still no order.

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