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The Montauk Superman

Part 4 <-- | -->

The Electric Fence

As the electric shock, torture, and the beatings continued, once I got away. I woke up after seeing my body and "flashing" into the green healing pool in my mind. I pretended to be injured (like a lame duck) as I entered into the hallway. The men all came running at first but then when they saw me crawling they slowed to a walk. When they were almost on top of me, with one burst of all the energy I had, I exploded into them knocking a few of them down and I broke free and I was by them. I ran in my underwear for the door to the outside. I got outside and I began running around the facility looking for a way out. I knew it was very cold outside because I could see my breath. It was snowing and there were large patches of snow already on the ground. As I circled the complex there was a large fence all around the outside with large metal signs every 15 yards or so with the skull and cross bones on it and the words "Warning Electric Fence". I was trapped, the fence was in front of me and to my back, as I turned around, were about 10 men in a semi-circle closing in on me. I back away from the fence and I am going to try and jump it. Adolph is in the middle of the semi-circle and yells "Rhino! NO! DON'T DO IT!" But I was not listening as I was like a cornered animal not thinking just looking for a way out. So I backed up and ran at the fence. I hear the man with the white hair yell "NO! DON'T DO IT!" but I leap for the fence anyway. The only part of my body that touched the fence was the palms of my hands as I had leaped up and grabbed the very top of the fence (the top row of barbed wire) and did sort of a flip over the fence. But that was enough as I was instantly electrocuted. I remember laying in the snow for a while, with smoke or steam coming off my body and the smell of burnt hair in the air. I hear behind me the men yelling "F*CK! WHY DID HE HAVE TO DO THAT", they were actually expressing some grief that I was dead. I hear them talking and I look ahead of me. There is nothing but open woods ahead. Something inside me says "GET UP! GET UP YOU F*CKING SON OF A BITCH AND RUN, GET YOUR ASS UP AND RUN! RUN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!" I MANAGED TO GET UP but then I fell right back on my face. The men behind the fence saw me move and now with new puissance ran around the building and were heading for the gate. I was not about to wait for them. I managed to get my self up and I ran with all my might for the woods. I heard them behind me but not for very long. The next thing I remember is running on the outer edges of the campus. I have no idea how I got there, how I knew where I was going, or how long I was running in my underwear in the snow. All I remember is running and saying to my self "You can make it! almost home! you can make it". I remember people were looking at me as I was now running across the campus. I had land marks, I knew where I was, almost home. I make it back to the dorm room. I get to the elevator and a bunch of girls are getting on with me. They start laughing at me and I collapse in the corner of the elevator. I said "Please! Please just push 4 for me." I manage to get out at the 4th floor and run for my room. My room is of course all the way at the end of the hall way. The next to last room located by the one-way fire door which leads to the stairs. I'm praying that Brian is there and the door is open. The door handle turns and I literally fall into the room. Brian is on the phone, as I fall in front of him he says "He's here call me back" and hangs up the phone.

Brian takes one look at me and grabs the comforter off his bed and wraps it around me as my skin is bright red and I am shaking violently from the cold. He gets off my underwear and puts my bathrobe on my shoulders and walks me to the showers. He puts me in the shower and turns the hot water on. I can see the steam rising from the hot water but I cannot feel anything on my skin. "DON'T F*CKING MOVE FROM THAT STALL" he yells at me, and he leaves. I must have stood in that shower for hours, until finally I got some feeling back in my skin and my fingers were getting puny. I am still in some sort of shock as I put my robe on and try and head for my room. When I get to my door I hear arguing going on inside. I hear Brian yelling "WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU DO TO HIM" and then I hear Mr. Green's voice answer "THAT'S NONE OF YOU BUSINESS" and I open the door and see Brian, Mr. Green, Adolph, and a few other guys all in my room, and I just black out.

I wake up and I am in my bunk bed, I look over the side and Brian is at the door talking to Mr. Green, he sees me and yells at me to "Go back to sleep! This is all a bad dream", he then says a more few words to Mr. Green and closes the door. I am still looking at him and he yells again "I SAID GO BACK TO F*CKING SLEEP! THIS IS ALL A BAD DREAM!" I fall asleep and wake up the next morning having had a horrific nightmare. But I can hardly move as I have a very bad cold. Flu like symptoms but by that night they were gone again and I felt fine.

Back in the dorm
Meanwhile what is happening back in the dorm room and during school while all this is going on? I remember strange things happening in my normal life during school. My high school sweet heart "Dawn" had gone to a different college so I was not that interested in meeting different girls anyway as I was loyal to her and her alone. But all the girls as well as most of the people I knew thought I was the biggest ass-hole because I didn't talk much to anyone. During classes, in the hallways, at parties or anywhere. The only people I had spoken to were the football players and the coaches. This was my "world" as far as walking to and from classes I always had my Walkman on. People made jokes that they thought it was "glued" to my head.

On the football team, I earned a starting spot on the best team Rochester had had in their 100 years of having a football team. As suddenly as I had earned the starting spot, the next week the coaches told me that I was no longer going to be the starter and I was benched. I go in as to ask why, and then my coach, coach Marz tells me that there are "other forces at work" and he has this glazed look in his eyes like he wants to tell me something but he cannot. Looking back I think they wanted to keep me as quite as possible. In other words, the last thing they wanted me to do is go off and be a great football star, with news papers and the media. So I think they went to the coaches and told them not to play me, to bench me because they could not take the chance of my face getting on the news.

During parents weekend freshmen year my father came up for the event. During one of the evenings the school had hired a "Stage Hypnotist" for a show after dinner. In the main cafeteria they had set up chairs probably over to 2000 seats. The hypnotist asks for volunteers to be in the show and he starts picking people out of the audience to come up and be hypnotized. I am waving my hand like crazy and the guy picks some people who are right near me and passes me by. I say "fuck this I'm going up there anyway" because I really wanted to do this for some reason.

So I join the pack of people that are heading up toward the stage (because he is selecting about 30 people to go up). I get all the way up to the stage and sit in one of the fold out chairs they have on stage. He then is about to start the show when a man in a Green army uniform then comes over to the side of the stage and tell the stage hypnotist that I cannot participate. And the guy tells me that I must go back to my seat. I remember being humiliated as I had to walk all the way back to my seat in front of the crowd. As I was walking back I start yelling "THEY DON'T WANT ME." I say. During the whole show I'm very pissed off. After the show I remember going up to the performer and telling him that "I am a victim of a government hypnosis mind control experiment and can he help me?" My father is right there for all of this. The hypnotist then asks me "Who is doing this to you?" and I point to the two men leaning up against the wall (it's Mr. Green and the man with the white hair, Adolph), then he did something, either brought out his watch on a string or said something to me and zap I am under his spell. I remember introducing my father to both Adolph and Mr. Green, we were right there in the cafeteria against the wall then they made us follow them into a more quite place. There I think they made my father forget the whole incident and made me shut the hell up. To this day when I ask my father about the stage hypnotist at parents weekend freshmen year he vaguely remembers the event, being there, but that's it. Nothing about meeting the men against the wall and nothing about going to a more secure place to erase his memory.

I remember walking back to my room from practice one day and a kid, a skinny kid (about 180 pounds), comes up to me in front of my dorm room and says "Your Andy Pero right?" and I say "Yes". Then he says "You live with Brian XXXXXX from irondiquite right?" and I say "YES". Then he says "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOUR ROOMATE IS BUT I'M BRIAN XXXXXX FROM IRONDIQUITE!" I say "don't be ridicules you don't look anything like Brian XXXXXX from Irondiquite." I go inside and tell my roommate Brian "Hey Brian some kid out in the parking lot says he is you" and I start laughing. He says what kid, and I point at him through the window. My roommate runs out the door and goes out to talk to the kid. I never saw that kid again.

I remember Mrs. Purrizzo and the woman with the black hair coming up to Rochester several times and wanting me to take her and her friend to a hotel room. I told her that I could not because I already had a girl friend, and that it wouldn't be right and because I wouldn't want it done to me. She said that I was more addictive then pure cocaine, and she is addicted. She must have me. Again I told her no. Her and her friend came up 3 or 4 times. I let them buy me dinner once, but that was it. Once after I had shot them down, they met some of the seniors on the football team out at a local bar and had made it with them, and I heard about it. They gave me a lot of shit about it because I must have been crazy because these women were beautiful. So why did I shoot them down? They kept asking me and I would just tell them that it was a long story.

One of the most disturbing memories I have about school is I remember people coming forward to try and help me. I remember a physics professor coming up to me and talking to me about what the were doing to me. How he had figured out the jump in Wilson Commons should have for all intents and purposes killed me. How I was going close to 32 feet sec/sec. And how the military probably was having me jump off high things and out of planes. And he asked if he was right. Then he told me not to tell anyone but they were organizing a case against the government.

What Adolph had done to me was to instructed me that if ANYONE started asking ANY questions that I would immediately report this back to him with all the names, and details of the questions and what was said during the whole conversation. I couldn't control my self. I couldn't NOT tell him, I had no control. So everyone that tried to help me I turned them in, and ratted them out. I remember the physics professor disappearing. I remember the dean and a few others trying to help me, and then I ratted them out as well.

I remember running across campus. As soon as I would see them coming for me, I would just start running. I would just take off and as I ran in between people some would yell "RUN ANDY RUN." I remember jumping over things and off ledges as they chased me. The thing is I would always run home, I would run home to Brian.

Second semester (after Christmas break and after Hell week in my fraternity) about mid February Brian starts me on Steroids. He convinces me that it's the best thing for me and I go along with it without any argument. He is a steroid guru and starts to explain all the different options I have. I tell him that I didn't know that much about it, so he tries to explain the different injection options. Where you can take straight testosterone or what's better is to take a "cocktail" of different drugs to have maximum effect. I tell him that I want just the straight testosterone but he gets me the cocktail anyway. I object but seem to have no choice but to go along with it. Next he tells me you should "stack" your cycle. What this means is that along with the injections you should also take an oral steroid as well on top of you injection. The way he explained it was that the injection was going to be for "bulk" and the oral was to "cut you up" (to give your muscles definition at the same time). And of course I go along with the pills as well as the needle.

A "normal" cycle of steroids consists of taking the drugs for an eight week cycle. Then if you want to continue you need to take eight weeks off. And then repeat the cycle. A normal cycle of testosterone consists of 1 cc per week for eight weeks. My cycle consisted of 1 cc the first week, 1 1/2 cc's the second week. 2 cc's the third week, 2 1/2 cc's the four week, 3 cc's the 5th and 6th week, then 2 cc's the 7th week and finally 1 cc the 8th week. The pills were very small and they were pink. The needles were 1 1/2 inches long used for deep muscle injection, what the liquid they were injecting me with was I have no idea. The little pink pills I didn't think could do much for me, I was supposed to take two per day, I was taking two per hour, and then when mine ran out I started stealing Brian's. By the end of my sixth week my muscles had grown so much and they were so tight that the needle would not go through my skin. It was like trying to put a needle into wood, and that was with the muscle in my leg being relaxed. I was also having severe chest pains. My heart felt like it was going to explode so I never finished the steroid cycle. The massive steroid doses is just about the time I was being pushed out of the airplanes. So for some reason Brian gets on my case about not finishing the steroid cycle. "Dude finish your cycle! you have got to finish your cycle!. And don't masturbate so much" he tells me. How would he know what I do, he was never there when I gave my self the injection or if I masturbated. They must have a camera in my room. I remember searching the room and finding a camera in the light where they had been watching me. As soon as I found the camera some men came pounding on my door and that's all I remember.

I remember Brian and his girlfriend Gwen. The first eight weeks of the second semester Brian was never there. I had the room to my self. Totally by my self. The second eight weeks Gwen had moved in. She was always there and let me tell you this was annoying. Gwen made several passes at me, and I turned her down every time. After the school year was almost over Brian and Gwen sit me down and he tells me "Dude, this is going to blow your mind, but we are not really boyfriend and girlfriend." "What do you mean?" I ask. "We have been assigned together, and we have been watching you." "Who has been watching me?" I ask. "The people we work for" he says. "Which is who" I ask. He says "Dude who do you think runs the country". "The government" I answer. They both start laughing, "Dude are you ignorant enough to believe that the country is really run by the government! The country is really run by special interests groups, very very powerful groups and they want you to be a part of their group. They want to bring you into their family!" When I heard that my head started to spin and I blacked out. After I came around, I went for a walk. My head was still spinning, I didn't know what to do, when I went back to my room the man with the white hair was there, I tried to run but he said the "magic" word and I was helpless to move, and I forgot all about it for years.

I also remember being in a trial, being on the witness stand. I am talking but I don't know what is coming out of my mouth. People start screaming at me as I am talking but I don't know what I am saying. They are yelling "he is brainwashed". It was the trial of the girl who was killed when they were chasing me across campus. The next time on the stand a man stands up all by himself and "whacks" two blocks of wood together. I snap out of it and the crowd is going crazy. I believed it was the trial of the girl and they made me say that the girl was killed in the name of "national security". When the man whacked the blocks together the man with the white hair quickly gets me off the stand and gets me out of there. That's all I remember, the man with the two blocks, and people starting to scream when they heard what was coming out of my mouth.

I think all of my friends as well as the whole campus thought that I was working for the FBI or something.

The Big Tank

Back at the Big lab the experiments that followed were on a much higher scale of sophistication compared to when we first started. I believe that this is about the time they were giving me the massive steroid injections. One of the first things they did to me was they brought me into another room. There is this huge tub of water. Approximately 7 feet deep (because I could not touch) and about 7 feet across (like a huge square). They bring me up to the platform, and the man with the white hair tells me I'm going to take a swim. He tells me to strip down to my underwear and then instructs me that the water is the same temperature as "a nice warm hot bath." I get in and spend hours splashing around and actually enjoying it. I know it had to be hours because there were at least 10 people or so watching me for the first few minutes or so. I'm a "pool hound" to begin with so naturally I'm hamming it up, splashing around, doing some short laps etc. Every time I grabbed the side of the tub they got very upset (by they I mean everyone who was watching me would yell out all at once "DON'T TOUCH THE SIDE"). OK I said. Why? I ask. "Because we are trying to see how long you can tread water" they answered. "OK", I answered and continued to play in the tub, it was like a game to me. After a while the people started to filter out, and after a very long while they were all gone except one guy in the baby blue lab coat. He was sitting all the way against the back far wall leaning his chair up against the wall. He says to me "I'll be right back." "Where are you going?" I ask. "To get a sandwich, I'll be right back and don't you f*cking move." He leaves and now I am alone. Now minutes seem like hours as I am alone treading water in this huge steel "can" and I look at my hands and they are all "pruny" so I say to my self "screw this" and I get out of the tub. I walk around the lab and nothing interests me, so then I walk into the hallway. Some one sees me and screams at me "why are you out of the tub?" and all of a sudden people start running towards me from everywhere. "I'm bored, can you get me a raft of something" I ask. Adolph starts half yelling and half laughing at me and I get back in again. They bring me one of those "kick boards" which you see at the YMCA during swim class which are in the shape of a tombstone. I ask for two and a football.

They ask me why and I tell them "so I can sit on the boards and have a catch with someone." They produce the second kick board within a few minutes. The football came sometime later (which seemed to be an eternity to me). It was one of those orange nerf footballs. I specifically remember this because I was having a catch with one of the men from the man with the white hair's group. I'm bobbing on the water with the two kicking boards stacked, and squeezed between my legs as I sit on them. To get more leverage, I would grab the edge of the tub with my right hand and throw with my left as I am left handed. After a while I became bored again. So, as a joke, I dunked the nerf ball in the nice warm bath water and I threw it to the guy I was having a catch with. He was only ten or fifteen yards away but I threw it as hard as I could. It was a perfect spiral and I hit him right in the chest. The thing is, it knocked him right onto his back and the other men who were watching all began laughing. The laughter continued for a few seconds but then when he didn't get up the laughter stopped and they all went over to him. He eventually got up, but the other men basically had to carry him into the hallway. I could tell that he was going to be all right but he was hurting. That was the end of the football and the end of my kick boards. I had to tread water for quite a while longer after that, the atmosphere had gone from very festive to very serious.

The thing is when they finally pulled me out of the tub, my skin was as red as a ripe tomato, and as they rubbed me down with towels I couldn't feel them. I couldn't feel anything touching my skin. My penis had shrunk so much I had to check to make sure it was still there. I believe that the water was not hot but very cold and they were trying to see how long my body could overcome hypothermia using only the power of suggestion in the mind. I have no idea how cold the water actually was, or how long I was actually in the tub but I can be sure that it was hours.

After they dried me off they made me do jumping jacks and pushups down on the floor. As I'm doing my pushups I hear a noise over my right shoulder, one of Adolph's men was picking up the towels they had just dried me off with, and tripped or slipped on something and I watched him fall in the tub with my right eye. I heard everybody running behind me. After a few seconds I hear the man with the white hair yelling at me to get my ass up there. I stop doing my pushups and hurry up the ladder. When I get to the top, I recognized the guy in the water, he was one of the more likable guys out of the original group. When I see it's him, I start laughing my ass off and I said something stupid like "how's the water" but everyone around me is VERY serious and they are frantically trying to get the man to grab the end of a broom handle. This guy was a big and burly guy (over 6'-2" and at least 250 pounds). Yet I watched as he could barley close his hand around the broom handle. He was fully clothed and was wearing a heavy dark wool overcoat. They manage to get him over to the edge but there was no foothold or leverage to pull him in and they could not get him out of the water. They tried several times, but the man could not move his arms at all to help them. The man with the white hair now jumps in and tries to lift him out of the water with one hand while holding onto the edge with the other to no avail. He yells at me to jump in. So I do, I try and pull him up as Adolph is doing on the other side and again this doesn't work. So I did the only thing left. I took a deep breath and went to the bottom feet first and came up under the guy who had fell in. With my knees bent and my hands above my head I grab the guy's butt and push off the bottom with my feet locking my arms above me. By doing this I managed to throw him far enough out of the water to where they grabbed him and pulled him out. I repeated this with Adolph, and then just got out myself just like I was getting out of the deep end of a swimming pool. I stood up and watched, but as I watched I became very confused as they frantically cut the man in the over coat's clothing off and they were wrapping him in blankets as fast as they could get them. His face was expressionless, his eyes were wide open but didn't move, and his skin was very very pale. They had some trouble getting him down the ladder, but they managed and they put him right onto a stretcher and wheeled him quickly out of the room and into the hallway. The man with the white hair wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and started yelling at everyone. This all happened in under two minutes, the man was in the water for probably about one, maybe less. I just stood there and hoped he didn't yell at me again (I had already screwed up twice, the football and getting out of the pool without permission). Everyone starts to pat me on the back and tells me what a great job I did. But now I was even more confused? How come he couldn't get out of the pool? Why did his face look like that? Why is my skin red and his is white? What did I do that was so good? I just pushed him out of the pool.

Looking back I don't know why I remember this event so clearly. Maybe it is because it has the least amount of pain, or because it was early on in my development, or maybe it is because afterwards they made me feel special for some reason. I don't know, but that's why I believe that the water was very cold and not the temperature of a luke warm bath.

Make a red dot the size of a half dollar

One of the very next things they did was to instruct me in the art of shooting guns. When they brought me from my dorm room I entered the lab but this time they bring me to a different part of the lab. To a place I had never been before. This place is like a long narrow warehouse with the back of the room lined with sand bags about 2/3 of the way up to the ceiling at the far end. I am standing by my self. There is a group of people standing off to my left. Adolph comes over to me and turns me to face him. "Listen to me very carefully," he says. "This is very very important! Do you understand?" he asks. I think I nodded my head. "We are going to work on your shooting skills today" he said. "Here is what you are going to do. Look at me and focus. Are you focused?" he says as his voice raises. "Yes" I say. "When you shoot, you shoot to kill! Repeat it!" he said. And I repeated it. "When you see a target, you will envision two round circles each the size of a half dollar. They are glowing neon red. These two circles are going to appear on every target. One will be in the middle of the targets forehead and the other will be right in the upper middle of his chest. WHEN YOU FIRE, YOU WILL ENVISION IN YOUR MIND, ZOOMING IN TO THESE TARGETS LIKE THE WORLDS MOST POWERFUL TELEPHOTO LENS. IN YOUR MIND THAT LITTLE RED GLOWING TARGET WILL BECOME THE SIZE OF A STOP SIGN. NO MATTER HOW FAR AWAY THEY ARE. IT WILL ALWAYS BE AS EASY TO HIT THE EXACT CENTER OF THE TARGET, JUST AS IF YOU WERE SHOOTING A STOP SIGN STANDING TWO FEET IN FRONT OF IT. IN YOUR MIND, YOU WILL ADJUST FOR WIND AND DISTANCE AUTOMATICALLY. WHEN YOU SHOOT YOU WILL NOT THINK, YOU WILL JUST DO! DO YOU UNDERSTAND! DO YOU UNDERSTAND! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!" he said. I SAID "YES I UNNDERSTAND".

One of the other lab guys whom I had never talked to before then comes up from behind me somewhere and he is holding a case. He places the case on this round wooden table and opens it. There are six different pistols in it. He asked me to look at him and not the pistols. He then asks me "if I had ever shot a gun before." I said "once at sleep away camp when I was little" he asked me if I knew the caliber and I said "yes, it was a .22 caliber rifle" and I remember hearing laughter, it seemed to be from all over the room. He then said to "focus your eyes on me, always your eyes are on me". He then asked me if I had ever shot a pistol before and I replied "no". He then told me that he was going to instruct me how to handle a gun, how to load it, how to clean it, how each one is different and what there different characteristics are, and he went on and on. At the end he said "you will remember everything I say and it will become like second nature to you, you will know it like the back of your hand". He then picked up the first pistol and for the next few hours (I presume it was hours) he spent showing me all the guns. Taking apart all the guns, and putting them back together. How to load them. How to clean them. How each one was different etc..etc.. I specifically remember this because after I did it once, I knew each gun like the back of my hand. They on the other hand were quite insistent that I disassemble and then reassemble every gun at LEAST 25 times. After about three or four "assemblies" I spoke out and said "this is a waste of time, when can I shoot?" and then like one voice every one in the room started yelling at me. All basically saying the same thing, that your gun is your life and that all this is very very very important. I got the message and said "well test me". Someone, I think it was Mr. Green's voice says "all right, we'll test you smart-ass" and they made me turn around. I hear them working. When I turn back around all six guns are disassembled and are in a big pile in the middle of the round table. The man with the white hair says to me you have exactly something minutes to reassemble all the weapons. I really wasn't listening to him. The moment I had turned around and saw the pile of parts I knew what they wanted me to do. I was like a kid in a candy store. Excited at the new challenge, and ready to show them just what I could do, it was all like a game to me. Me against them and they don't think I can do it. As the man with the white hair finished speaking the words I really wasn't hearing. He said "ready" and I look at him and he has a stop watch, to the left of him is Mr. Green standing there with his arms crossed with this shit eating grin on his face. I remember thinking to my self "watch this you son of a bitch" and Adolph says "go." And I rush over to the table. Let me tell you every piece that I touched I instantly knew EXACTLY what gun it went to, how it was used, what purpose it served the weapon and how to clean it. I instantly knew everything and every word the instructor had told me about that piece.

I have no idea how fast I assembled those six pistols. I was so focused on the task I had no idea about anything else around me. How much time had gone by, where I was, nothing. I was going very fast and when I finished and slammed the last pistol to the table and yelled "done". As I looked up they all had this blank stare and mouth open look to them. Mr. Green says "do it again" and I did it two more times. Then the man with the white hair and black leather coat goes behind me and takes apart one of the guns and holds it in front of me and instructs me to tell in detail what gun this part goes to and what it is used for. I would then tell every detail word for word exactly as the instructor in the blue lab coat told me. After three or four parts Adolph is now strutting around like a proud peacock. He praised me and made me feel good about my self, and I said with a very cocky attitude "now can I shoot" as I looked at Mr. Green. Mr. Green breaks a smile and says "Shit!! let him shoot".

The lab instructor grabs a second case out of the hall. It's black look identical to the other case only smaller. He opens it and it has boxes of bullets in it. He places five or six bullets on this little slotted plastic tray, grabs one of the guns and proceeds to walk down to the closest shooting station. It was a movable divider type wall (like the kind you see in office cubicles) and had a small ledge about a foot wide on it. We were only about ten yards away from this hanging paper target (the kind with a black silhouette on it). The instructor then proceeded to tell me to do exactly as he instructs. He tells me to load the clip, insert the clip into the pistol, enter a round into the chamber, step up to the line on the floor, envision the "red dot" on the targets forehead and chest, raise and stiffen my arm like a "steel beam", slowly squeeze the trigger, repeat until all the rounds have been discharged, step back, remove the clip from the pistol, discharge the last cartridge from the chamber, place the clip and the pistol on the ledge and then take two steps back. He says "do it now". I walk up to the ledge, load the clip, insert it into the pistol, load a round into the chamber, step up to the line, raise my arm and fire all the shots at once!.

BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM! step back, remove the clip from the pistol, clear the last round from the chamber, place both the clip and the pistol back on the ledge and take two steps back. This all took place in probably under 10 seconds. I did all this just like I had done it a thousand times before and like I knew it like the back of my hand. The instructor comes by my side and starts lecturing me about squeezing "gently" on the trigger and how to shoot my rounds "one at a time and in control". I have tuned him out as I am only focusing on the small crowd which has now gathered around the target within a matter of seconds, and there seem to be mixed reviews about my "performance" and a large amount of discussion is going on. It seems I had hit the target exactly in the center of the head, but only once. Finally, Adolph walks back and stands in front of me. "Rhino" he says, "Why did you shoot the target once and then deliberately waste the rest of your rounds?" he asks. "I didn't" I answered. "Rhino, there's only one hole in the fucking target, now answer me, WHY DID YOU DELIBERATELY MISS WITH THE REST OF YOUR ROUNDS". "I didn't" I answer, and at that point I remember a feeling of such pride, and such arrogance. A feeling that I had never felt before. This feeling overwhelmed me and I could not help but smile, and as I stood there I stuck out my chest and in the cockiest demeanor I could muster I answered "LOOK AGAIN!!!". Adolph is looking at me with this sort of puzzled look on his face and turns and walks back to the target. He moves people aside and looks at it, he turns and looks back at me, then looks at the back of the target. He takes three steps towards me "Rhino, there's only one.." "LOOK AGAIN!!" I yell. He walks back to the sand bags and the group follows. They are looking for the bullet holes. I am watching as all eyes are scanning the wall of sand bags. I hear "here it is" and I see one of the lab instructors stick his finger into one of the sand bags. There is still puzzlement and confusion amongst the group. They can find only one bullet hole. Finally, I see the man with the white hair pull out his pocket knife and cuts into the sand bag. I cannot see what is going on as the group closes around him, but all of a sodden I hear this ROAR of approval from the crowd, and Adolph emerges from the crowd with his hand out stretched and something is on his palm. He approaches me and there is a small pile of bullets in his palm. "You shot all your rounds through the same hole didn't you?" "Of course? It's what you told me to do?" I answer. And as I answer the ROAR erupts again.

I remember standing there, feeling very proud of myself, yet at the same time feeling very puzzled. "What are they so excited about?" I was asking myself. To me, it was as easy as taking the cap off a ball point pen and putting it back on really fast five times. Simple, a child could do it. What was all the hoopla about? I had absolutely no clue.

For the rest of the night I repeated this from all possible distances, angles, and firing positions. I was so fast with the firing procedure they had five or six stations all set up and I had to wait for them to examine the results and reset the targets etc... I would load it, fire it, remove the clip or spent cartridges, place everything back onto the shelves exactly as I had the first time and move onto the next spot. I was in heaven, ever since the fifth or sixth grade I had been really into all the "really cool" stuff that you weren't supposed to have as an upper middle class kid (in total secrecy from my mother of course).

Chinese martial arts weapons, Chinese throwing stars, numb-chucks, brass knuckles with spikes etc.. My mother hated, and I mean hated guns. I was not allowed to have ANY toy guns as a child what so ever, no bee-bee guns, no toy guns, not even any plastic guns. I wasn't even allowed to play like I was shooting anyone (cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians) when I was a child. When Atari came out, my mother hated even the idea that I was shooting something in a video game (space invaders), as a result she simply would not allow me to play certain games and she would not allow me to have them (I would play them anyway just over at a friends house). When I was in high school and Nintendo came out she would not allow me to buy the plastic gun which hooked into the game so I could play "duck hunt" or some police game. When we would go to buy games she simply said "it's my money and I will not buy that game for you." I wanted "the road warrior" or something and she wanted me to get "tennis" or "bass fishing" "you used to love to go fishing" she would say. She really was something. With my father coming back from Vietnam a different man and having severe mental anguish about what happened over there and the whole experience, and after what happened to Mr. Johnson I can't really blame her for her gun hysteria, I can only try to understand. BUT ANYWAY, here I was, a 19 year old kid and all of a sudden I got to fire all these "really cool" guns, and they had all this "really cool" stuff like knives, killing wires, night vision goggles, and all of these ADULTS were running around as fast as they could for ME. Running around, changing targets for ME, getting ME a sandwich or a drink and they all seemed so eager to do something for me, anything, anything I asked, anything I wanted they would run and get for me. They seemed so impressed with what I could do, I sensed they envied me, I also sensed they feared me. I felt like a celebrity, and I felt like a king.

All of the shooting took only about an hour or so I would estimate. After the first round, they never told me any of the results. All I remember is the atmosphere had a feeling of elation, euphoria, exuberance, everyone had these HUGE smiles on there faces, laughing, and admiration. Honestly, as we got further and further back, I don't even know if I was hitting ANYTHING! All I remember is raising my arm and firing the pistol. I COULDN'T THINK, I COULD ONLY DO. I would just fire the pistol at the target, step back, and they were always for some reason happier than pigs in shit.

The thing is they liked me. If the atmosphere seemed "light" I somehow found myself suddenly speaking and making comments for no particular reason. When I spoke everyone would freeze and listen. I liked this fact, I liked it very much. I would make comments like "Should we be wasting all these bullets? There very expensive aren't they?" (my mothers' mother, the very frugal Grandma Angrstrom coming out of me). And they would all start laughing hysterically.

I remember Mr. Green saying to me with a tear in his eye from laughing so hard "Rhino, you can shoot as many god d*mn f*cking bullets as you want. It's on me and I'm buying. Shit! I'll get you bullets by the f8cking truck load if you want." I said "Really? Are you sure cause that can really start to add up!" and they all burst out laughing again.

After that comment is what I most remember specifically about this whole episode. I remember watching Mr. Green as he turned to someone in a long dark overcoat and saying "I f*ckin like that kid.. I f*ckin like him! I like how he thinks! as a matter of fact" and he turns and motions the man with the white hair and black leather coat over to him and a few others join him. The man with the white hair then says "Rhino, come over here." I walk over and he says "Rhino, let me first tell you that you did an outstanding job, and as a reward we are going to send you home early tonight. I want you to go home and get a good nights rest, you've earned it." I said "awesome, thank you very much." Mr. Green then pats me on the back and says "outstanding son, f*cking outstanding!" This was the first time Mr. Green had physically touched me and I remember the "eerie" feeling I got and the "chills" that went down my spine as he removed his hand from my back. I walked over to the wall and picked my coat off the floor and followed the two men who always drove me out to the car. Then I remember being in front of the dorm and I actually said "good by" to the two guys and went inside to bed.

Most of all I remember the proud feeling of amazing them with my shooting even though I don't know exactly how I did it. I remember the feeling of being "honored" with a reward because I could somehow do things none of them could do. And most of all I remember the "eerie" feeling of Mr. Green touching me. He had always been there and I had seen him many times, but for some reason now in my mind he finally had become all too real. If that makes any sense?

After that they then instructed me with rifles, more pistols, basically every practical thing that shot a bullet I was instructed in how to use it, clean it, shoot it, and kill with it. And as soon as the instructor was finished I instantly knew it all like the back of my hand, like I had done it a thousand times before. I remember feeling the differences between the M-16 and the AK47 as I shot them. Shooting small semi-automatic weapons (like an uzi only different). Then asking me to remember which weapons I personally liked the most.

They converted the longest hallway into a target range since it was the longest stretch in the facility, by placing sand bags all the way at one end and blocking off all other door ways and hall ways along the way. I would estimate it was about 70 yards + or - long. In doors this shot seemed very distant. They also had converted the original range to have these "pop-up" targets, as well as moving ones which ran along this miniature track. The targets would come out of this temporary wall, go across the line of sight on the track and then disappear into the other wall, and they had tracks going at different distances, coming to and going away etc. For the next while it seemed that all I did was shoot. All the other experiments seemed to have been put on hold. The exercising, the brain games, the puzzles, the punching bag, everything.

I could hit ANY target still or moving, at ANY range, with ANY of the guns in the exact center every time. Except for some reason I remember having some trouble with the semi-automatic type stuff, because the gun was not designed for accuracy it was designed for speed. So it would fire so fast the distribution pattern just wasn't accurate enough. And by not accurate enough I mean instead of having one bullet hole in which all the spent rounds would pass through in the exact center of the red dot (which the targets now came with already painted on). The semi-automatics would basically just eliminate the entire red dot which was the size of a half dollar if I emptied the clip in one burst. This was basically still an unbelievable bulls-eye and show of marksmanship, but it was not what they wanted. They wanted every bullet through the same hole every time, all the time. In the exact center of the red dot, no exceptions, and no excuses. So they backed off using these guns for the time period.

At close range I could do this without any problem I would estimate under 20 yards. The further I backed away the larger the single bullet hole would become. As I backed as far back as I could go on the long range (60 or 70 yards), the bullet hole had gone from being about the size of a "dime" to being about the size of a "quarter". I remember after I shot they would gather around the target at the other end and then yell for me. I would run down, and see one hole the size of a quarter in the red dot on the head, and this "rush" of pride would run through my body. But when they spoke to me it was not praise, they were screaming at me with criticism. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, YOU CALL THAT SHOOTING, GO BACK AND DO IT AGAIN, AND I WANT TO SEE ONE HOLE THE SIZE OF A DIME NOT THE SIZE OF A FUCKING GOLFBALL. DO YOU UNDERSTAND." I would have to go back and do it again. I remember some improvement but then I would worsen again. They sent me home early anyway to get some rest. They were pushing me and my limits. Yes I was doing incredible things but they wanted to see just how far I could go and just what I could do.

The Helmet of Knowledge

Everything was going very well with my conditioning and my training. Mr. Green and Adolph seemed pleased with my progress. Until we began shooting outside. It all seemed different now. With the cold air on my face I felt more "awake" and more aware of what was going on. The pistol no longer felt like an extension of my own hand. It felt cold and seemed to be heavier now. When I shot as the distances got greater and greater I became worse and worse and began to miss. And by miss I mean being on the edge of the red circle not in the exact middle, hitting the black, missing the black but still hitting the paper. My "automatic adjustments" for wind and distance didn't seem to work very well if at all. One night it was very windy and raining and I was missing the red dot, and I even missed the target all together a few times. This is with a pistol (I think it was, or was very similar to a Baretta). They bring me back inside and give me an "ass chewing" about my very poor performance. They send me back to the lab where I do "simple things" for the rest of the evening. Like the squat rack, more brain puzzles, strength exercises etc.

The next night as I'm walking into the lab Adolph instructs me to follow and we proceed to a room that I had never been in before. It is like an empty class room, there are green black boards on the walls up at the front, one green black board which can flip around and is on wheels off to the right and one student desk in the middle of the room. That is all. They tell me to sit and I do. I become very nervous as I'm thinking they are going to test me or something and I haven't studied. A man in a baby blue lab coat walks to the front. I do not recognize him. There is a nervous tone in his voice as he begins.

I have no idea what is going to go on as this format is all new to me. He begins talking about angular trajectories, muzzle velocities, and how air densities are measured verses altitude at sea level and this then equates into a friction coefficient equations to measure the angular trajectory of a projectile! And he goes on and on. "HOLD IT" I speak out. "Can I have a pencil and some paper to make some notes?" I ask. For the next while I'm frantically bent over the desk and trying to write down everything he is saying and copy the diagrams he is drawing on the board like I'm in class back in school. After a while Adolph walks over to me and says "Rhino, do you need a break?" "YES I need a f*cking break" and I slam my pencil down and put my head between my hands. "Are you getting all of this?" he asks me. "NO" I answer, and I remember starting to cry "I'm trying, really I'm trying, but I DON'T HAVE A F*CKING CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT!". We take a break. I'm very nervous about having to go back into the room. I had gotten a "D" in algebra in high school and they are talking about stuff I had never even herd of before, and they want me to understand this stuff, there is no f*cking way I'm thinking to myself.

They call me back in and for the first time I felt sort of "scared". Not over where I was, who I was with, what they did to me in the lab. I was scared about letting then down. I was scared because I had convinced myself that no matter what happened I could not do this. I was never a good student in school and this stuff, forget it. There was just no way!

As I sit back down I'm looking for the man in the blue lab coat and he is no longer there. It is only the man with the white hair. He says a few words and I become relaxed and I close my eyes. I hear him. He tells me to "just relax" and "just sit back and absorb like a giant sponge, just absorb everything." I hear the instructor begin speaking again and this goes on for a while. I hear Adolph ask me is any of this sinking in?" and I shake my head and answer "NO" and open my eyes. As I open my eyes I look to my right and see the man with the white hair and Mr. Green speaking to each other in a fairly loud tone. Not arguing but clearly annoyed. I put my head in my hands again and then stand out of my chair and yell "HOLD IT, I have an idea!" I was so proud of my self. The man with the white hair comes over and asks "What's your idea?" with this cautious look on his face (I remember his look of caution). "take me to my LEVEL, take me to my ROOM. I have an idea!" "What are you going to do?" he asks. "PLEASE, JUST TAKE ME TO MY ROOM" I say. "Rhino" he says "I have to know what you are going to do." "I'll explain everything in a minute! just please take me to my room, trust me, you're gonna LOVE this!" I said.

When I opened my eyes I explained what I had done in my special room in my mind.

What I had done was this. In the main room of my mind (the big blue room with the 20 foot ceilings) on the far wall was the circuit breaker for my nerve endings (like the fuse box in your house). This device allowed me to turn my nerves on and off at will mentally just by flipping the circuit when needed. Next to that was the adrenaline valve which allowed me to turn on and off my adrenaline flow to my body. It was simply a thin copper pipe which came out of the wall , came down and went back into the wall again with a valve in the middle of it like the main water valve in the basement of your house which controls the water flow coming from the street into the house (the same thing only I was controlling the flow of adrenaline and not the flow of water and it was for control of my body not for control of the house). Allowing me to turn my adrenaline gland on and off at will. Next to it was the fear switch. It was this big old fashioned circuit breaker type switch which was chained in the "off" position with a "DO NOT TOUCH" sign on it. They had ALREADY conditioned me to install these devices back in "room 101" and this is how I had configured them in my mind.

What I did was next to the fear switch I created this big metal box.

It was my own personal super computer which was connected directly to the root of my mind, the root of my essence, and the root of my soul. Any information that was entered into this computer would become instantly part of ME, and part of my soul. The computer had unlimited memory and unlimited speed. It was the fastest and most top secret computer in the world. The information will go directly from the source to the core of my essence, like writing in stone but with a blank slab. My mind now is open for all instruction and there is unlimited space. "HOW DO WE ENTER THE INFORMATION?" The man with the white hair, Adolph asks. "That's the best part" I say. And I proceed to tell them that what I have done is created my own lab in my mind. It is a new room located next to the healing pool. And in this room there is nothing but the biggest and most comfortable reclining black leather lazy boy that can be made. Next to the lazy boy is a small wooden stand. On the wooden stand is the wonder of my creation, I call it "the helmet of knowledge". It is a football helmet, but there is no facemask. On the top of the helmet are wires which run through the helmet and connect to little metal conductors which touch my skull when I put the helmet on. There are also goggles (like ski goggles) which have the metal probes around the temples and eyes. The wires run from the top of the helmet and then are bundled into this one inch thick gray super conducting wire. The wire runs from the helmet out the doorway and back into the main room. Then over to the wall and hooks directly into the front of the super computer. The information then is transferred into the super computer. The super computer then processes it and sends it out the back wire (which is identical to the wire from the helmet). The information goes out the back wire and goes directly into the blue wall, directly into ME. "SO EXACTLY HOW DO WE ENTER THE INFORMATION?" The man with the white hair asks again. "Don't you get it! All I have to do is lay back and relax in the chair and put "the helmet of knowledge" on with the goggles and ANYTHING you want me to understand you just have to speak it! It's like writing computer code on my brain, AND THE BEST PART IS ALL I HAVE TO DO IS LAY BACK IN THE LAZY BOY BECOUSE IT'S ALL DONE AUTOMATICALLY!..PRETTY F*CKING 'COOL' ISN'T IT!!!!!" The man with the white hair and Mr. Green just look at each other and from the expressions on there faces I knew I had just blown them away. And like an idiot I sat there feeling so f*cking proud of myself for thinking of the helmet of knowledge, and for winning the game and outsmarting them again.

I had given them a way to insert ANYTHING they wanted DIRECTLY into the core of my brain. This could not be undone and this could not be changed, and this could not be disobeyed. They could now write the code of my existence anyway they wanted to, and they could now tell me to do anything and I had no choice but to obey. This was going beyond hypnosis, and complex suggestions and conditioning. This was giving them a blank screen and a keypad to rewrite the core of my essence.

After explaining the helmet of knowledge though I hadn't told them everything. Not out of fear of them or because I was trying to hid anything from them, it was simply because they never asked. They never asked about the back up system I had also installed in my mind. What I did was I had split the thick gray wire after it left the helmet of knowledge and I rerouted the second wire to the second super computer I had created. I was thinking "I'll probably screw something up sooner or later" so I made a back up copy and the back up systems for ME to hide my screw ups from them, just in case.

What I did was I placed one of those fold out lunch tables directly IN THE HEALING POOL (I had to expand the room and the pool for this but since this was my mind I could make the rooms and the pools as big as I wanted so I gave my self plenty of room within the room within my mind if you follow). But anyway, I then placed the second computer (the back up) on the table which was in the healing pool, and ran the wire through the pool and the water. In essence what I had done was created a totally self sufficient independent circuit for the back up system and I also hooked the other systems to the back up system (the fear circuit, the healing circuit, the adrenaline circuit, and the pain circuits) and ran those wires through the pool as well. So if anything happened to the main room or the main computer I would ALWAYS have a "back up" copy of everything.

Even if the main room was somehow destroyed or damaged beyond repair the back up computer would kick in. AND if the back up computer became damaged it would fall off the table and right into the healing pool, thus automatically regenerating itself, and thus automatically regenerating the main room again as well from the copy stored in the back up computer which can never be destroyed because it's over the healing pool, and if you try and destroy the healing pool one if not both of the computer's would regenerate it anyway. The only way to destroy everything was to destroy both computers and the healing pool at the same time, but since I didn't tell anyone about the backup they would never know to do this. Of course, just in case, I made a door for the healing pool room that was indestructible and would automatically close within one millionth of a second if I pushed the panic alarm (which then of course had to be wired into every room along with the panic buttons themselves) or the door would close the millisecond any damage occurred to the main computer. There was also a super secret third computer which I hooked up to the back of the back up in the healing pool room. I then instructed the blue wall (which is the actual walls of my mind, the whole room is my mind if that makes any sense) to reach out and absorb the third computer. To hide it somewhere, and this was just between me and him. And the blue wall reached out like the blob and took the third computer and stuck it some where. I honestly really don't know where it went. But I do think it's part of the reason I can still remember these events today.

After I had explained the helmet of knowledge to Mr. Green and Adolph they placed me under again to try out the helmet and the instructor begins again. When I open my eyes the man with the white hair asks how I feel and my response I think was something like "It's all so simple, it's all so clear now!". They immediately take me out side to the range and I remember walking to the 100 yard marker, loading my pistol and firing the entire clip in rapid succession, unload the clip remove the last cartridge from the chamber and placed them both on this little stand next to the marker. Mr. Green and Adolph start walking toward the target and tell me to follow. They are walking so fast that I have to hurry as to not walk too far behind. As I look ahead there is a man in a baby blue lab coat already up there looking at it. When we get there they stop on front of the target and I cannot see what I had hit. They part and Mr. Green says "That's better but I want that hole the size of a f*cking dime! why isn't that hole the size of a f*cking dime?" and I look at the target and there is a hole right in the middle of the red dot on the forehead a little larger then the size of a quarter (almost enveloping the entire red dot). As I am looking at the target I stand tall and stick my chest out. I have no idea exactly what I said but I just seemed to flow out of me with out me thinking about it. I said something like "a non uniformity in the casing of the bullet of one thousandth of an inch in combination with as little as a thousandth of a gram of powder deviation per cartridge results in friction loss and deviance of muzzle velocity and this when multiplied over a distance of 100 yards the result is a deviation of the projectiles path of 1/8 of an inch up to 3/4 of an inch depending on air temperature and wind velocity at the time of discharge, SIR." Again I have no idea what exactly came out of my mouth but it was the physics equations the man in the baby blue lab coat was trying to teach me in the class room. "Go back and get your gun" the man with the white hair instructed me. And as I am jogging back to the marker I look back over my shoulder I see them talking. I feel nervous, I get my gun and run back. As I arrive I hear them laughing but as I get closer the laughing stops. Mr. Green tells me I have shown improvement and he sends me home for the night. I can tell he was pleased.

What I didn't know at the time was the helmet of knowledge turned out to be a major breakthrough. After that anything they wanted to put into my head they could now do directly into the core of my brain with ease. They even got me a black leather recliner to lay in when I was laying in the one in my mind using the helmet of knowledge.

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